Why I Didn’t Hate My Job Yesterday August 29, 2008

With 30 minutes left in my shift yesterday, I had already written this blog entry out in my head.  It would have been called, “Why I Hate My Job.”  It would’ve opened with my manager telling us at morning meeting that due to school, we lacked ten employees.  It would’ve flowed into the story of a pipe breaking and one of the rides closing.  And to top it off, the Code Red on the other side of the park would’ve concluded the entry.  (A Code Red is a medical code used on the radios for life-threatening emergencies.  In this case, a woman fainted and stopped breathing and an ambulance was called in to take her to the hospital.)  The entry would’ve suited the title very well.

So as I walked along the edge of one of the attractions I was guarding, a giant water treehouse with slides and a bucket of water that dumps a hundred gallons of water on the guests every two minutes, I thought through my blog post, editing some of my thoughts.  A woman, who had just ridden down one of the slides, approached me.  I thought of the normal questions I received… “What time is it?” “Where are the bathrooms?” “My daughter just cut herself, do you have any band-aids?” “What’s that weird thing you do with your hands that makes you look like an elephant?”  I knew all of the answers; I had repeated them hundreds of times throughout the summer.  She opened her mouth, the ends curled up into a slight smile…

“Hi there.  I know this must be a really boring job sometimes but this is the most fun I’ve had with my grandkids this summer.  So thanks for everything you do.” 

Oh. Wow.

That’s why I changed the title.

Oh, the irony…

XXX,

Alex

Jesus Loves Me, Apparently August 22, 2008

I’m a lifeguard at a water park.  It’s a decent job and it pays well.  The other lifeguards tend to lack… substance, however, they can not compare to the guests we get. 

I don’t know how to describe the guests adequately. For one, most of them do not speak English.  Although in most parts of the country, this would be entirely normal, my little corner of America knows no diversity.  The other day while guarding a catch pool for one of the slides, a woman who had just climbed off her tube walked over to me.  She lightly tapped my shoulder and said, “Thank you,” her accent clearly proving that English is not her first language.  I was confused.  Although parents will often thank me if I need to assist them or rescue their child, normal guests do not normally acknowledge me, let alone thank me.  I nodded my head, making sure not to take my eyes off the water.  I thought she had returned her tube and headed off to another ride but a second later, she tapped me on the shoulder again.  Startled, I jumped around to see who it was.  She nearly shouted, “JESUS LOVES YOU!”  Being a not-very-religious person, I thanked her and watched her as she trotted away.

This story probably would’ve been better if she had tried to make-out with me at that point, but unfortunately that happened at a later part of the day and the stories don’t fuse well together.  Ah well.

Hello World! August 22, 2008

I always find that my initial blog entries are the cause of my blogging downfalls. 

This blog will remain undefined, for the time being, in the hope that I will actually start using it.