I’m a lifeguard at a water park. It’s a decent job and it pays well. The other lifeguards tend to lack… substance, however, they can not compare to the guests we get.
I don’t know how to describe the guests adequately. For one, most of them do not speak English. Although in most parts of the country, this would be entirely normal, my little corner of America knows no diversity. The other day while guarding a catch pool for one of the slides, a woman who had just climbed off her tube walked over to me. She lightly tapped my shoulder and said, “Thank you,” her accent clearly proving that English is not her first language. I was confused. Although parents will often thank me if I need to assist them or rescue their child, normal guests do not normally acknowledge me, let alone thank me. I nodded my head, making sure not to take my eyes off the water. I thought she had returned her tube and headed off to another ride but a second later, she tapped me on the shoulder again. Startled, I jumped around to see who it was. She nearly shouted, “JESUS LOVES YOU!” Being a not-very-religious person, I thanked her and watched her as she trotted away.
This story probably would’ve been better if she had tried to make-out with me at that point, but unfortunately that happened at a later part of the day and the stories don’t fuse well together. Ah well.